Tuesday, July 06, 2010

Hope You're Okay With That

There is a kid that sits in front of my mom and me in Sacrament Meeting. His parents are good friends of ours, and I have known the husband my whole life. This son of theirs is about ten years old, and I have known him his entire life. When I was a Primary teacher, I taught his older brother, and he (the kid I'm talking about) was in the Sunbeams. As I've watched this kid grow up, I become more and more convinced that he is gay. He may not know that yet, and it may not even be so, but this kid sets off my gaydar big time. I can't even pinpoint what it is. I mean, he's a bit effeminate and certainly has his own individual sense of style and fashion, but that doesn't necessarily mean he is gay. But I think he is, and I'm interested to see what he's like another ten years from now. I think what I like most about him is he refuses to "fit in a box." He is definitely his own person and seems to have no shame or qualms about expressing himself through his appearance.

Anyway, if it does turn out that he's gay, I hope his parents will be okay with it. They do lean more on the liberal side, so I suspect that even if they are not initially cool with it, they will come around eventually. I'm pretty sure the husband, at least, knows I'm gay, and his attitude toward me hasn't changed one iota. And his father is my former bishop, a man who I have referred to many times in this blog as being one of the most Christ-like men I know.

And who knows? Maybe the kid isn't gay at all. Maybe I'm just projecting something on him that doesn't even exist. It doesn't really matter. It's just interesting to me to speculate about.

This brings me to another kid I know, this one considerably older. I've also known him his whole life, although I am not as close with his family as I am to the aforementioned family. This kid is about 21 or 22 and returned from a mission recently and is engaged to be married in about a month. I also have always suspected this kid is gay as well. Unlike the previous family, this kid's family is ultra-conservative, and I have a very hard time imagining that they would ever be okay with his being gay. And again, I may be wrong (although I will say that my gaydar is pretty accurate), but I do get the feeling he's done all the things he does because it's the "right thing to do" or because he's expected to do them. And although he may love his fiancée, I feel a sense of sadness in him and wonder if he will regret his choice later on in life (or if she will regret it). Maybe they won't. I know some mixed-orientation couples who seem to be making things work for themselves. I just know I wouldn't have been happy myself were I in his same situation. I feel like who he really is inside is being covered by this "brave-faced" facade.

Again, it's all speculation. I could be completely wrong about both these kids. I guess only time will tell.

Saturday, July 03, 2010

Happy and Satisfied

A little more than two years ago I wrote the following in my blog post:

"Recently my mom put a photo of my sister and her fiance on our piano in the living room. That's where many of the family photos go. There are several photos of my older brother and his family and ones of my older sister and her family. And now there is one of my youngest sister and her soon-to-be husband. But there are none of me and Jonah. My mom loves Jonah a lot and she also loves me a lot, and I don't expect her to put a photo of us on the piano because I know it would be awkward for her to explain to visitors about us, and I don't want to put her in that position."

At the time I wrote that, it made me sad that my relationship was not getting the same kind of recognition my then-engaged sister was getting. That wasn't necessarily anybody's fault. It's just what it was.

I'm happy to say that now my mom has plenty of photos of Jonah, me, and our cats around the house. I recently gave her a couple of framed photos from our wedding, and she has prominently displayed them. I am able to talk freely about my relationship and my sexuality with anyone in my family, and it's a wonderful feeling that everyone accepts it and loves Jonah like they love me.

Happy days indeed!