tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23563380.post1768722805120100589..comments2023-10-02T00:28:29.335-07:00Comments on Gay LDS Actor: Excommunication LoomingGay LDS Actorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17841236084753512311noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23563380.post-68725558524465842792009-02-04T17:59:00.000-08:002009-02-04T17:59:00.000-08:00"...It’s not as though I am out killing people or ..."...It’s not as though I am out killing people or selling drugs or stealing other people’s property or molesting children or raping women. There are far worse things I could be doing than what I am. My sin is that I am guilty of being in love with another man, and I still have a hard time comprehending why that is such a terrible thing."<BR/><BR/>This really hits home to the issue and how blown out of proportion this is.<BR/><BR/>Use your disciplinary council experience as an opportunity to bear your testimony of the Church and of Christ and to show them your love you have for both. And help them to see the love you have for Jonah. You never know who you will touch, even if it's a forgone conclusion of the end result.<BR/><BR/>My thoughts and prayers are with you.Beckhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06159223254071653666noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23563380.post-44527982402922843072009-02-03T18:36:00.000-08:002009-02-03T18:36:00.000-08:00Thank you all for your words of encouragement and ...Thank you all for your words of encouragement and support and for your advice. I truly appreciate it.<BR/><BR/>I, too, believe that ultimately I am doing what is best for me.<BR/><BR/>FD, thank you so much for your thoughts. You've reaffirmed much of what I've thought and stuff that Jonah has suggested I do, too. Your counsel was extra helpful to me (although I appreciate everything everybody has commented on).<BR/><BR/>I'm hoping to get a chance to read the conversation going on in your blog soon. I've been so incredibly busy lately, I haven't had as much time to read others' blogs, let alone update my own. I'll check it out as soon as I am able. I'm sure it's interesting and insightful.<BR/><BR/>Thanks again, all.Gay LDS Actorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17841236084753512311noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23563380.post-82736977918007253492009-02-02T15:10:00.000-08:002009-02-02T15:10:00.000-08:00My heart breaks for you because I know that this i...My heart breaks for you because I know that this is something that has always been a dark cloud looming on the horizon for you.<BR/><BR/>I've tried to imagine what it must be like and what I would do in your situation. I'm trying to imagine all the thoughts and emotions that must be weighing on your mind.<BR/><BR/>I don't want to say what <I>I</I> think that you should say in a bishop's court. Only you know what feels right for you to say. I can only say what I <I>think</I> I would say in your position, realizing that I'm not and will never really understand what it's like to be in your shoes right now.<BR/><BR/>I think that you are, in a way, fighting for your life. We discussed a while back in my blog what it must be like for those who feel they are trapped in the wrong body and are miserable and suicidal until they have a transgender operation, only to be excommunicated for it. As you said, you did all that you could in terms of praying, fasting, dating women, and remaining as faithful as you could, just as I'm sure that many of those transgenders would have done. I think it would be dangerous to underestimate the power of the loneliness and suicidal feelings that you described having before meeting Jonah. If you feel that your very life and sanity are at stake here -- which I think you do -- then your life has to take priority. I just find it impossible to believe within myself that the Lord would rather see you in a downward spiral of depression and possibly even suicide instead of being in a loving relationship. I could be wrong, but I just can't imagine it. <BR/><BR/>I think, if it were me, that I would focus on all the many ways that I feel that I <I>am</I> committed to living the Gospel. I would venture to guess that you are living the Gospel better than most members. Your sexuality aside, you are probably even temple-worthy. I think that if you are summoned to a bishop's court, that they may be surprised at what they hear. I think that there are probably few members who are facing excommunication who have the faith and can bear the testimony that you just did in your post. I've never met you, but through your writing I've never sensed any haughtiness or pride about you. You love the Church and even if they see fit to excommunicate you, they will not be able to excommunicate your testimony. I wonder what sort of impression it will make on them to see someone in such an impossible situation: so dedicated to the faith and with every intention of continuing to live it in every way you can, despite coming up short in terms of your sexuality and desire for companionship. I expect that the brethren will be bound to enforce the laws they have to uphold, but I can guarantee you that those who are in tune with the Spirit will sense that you are not some "prideful sinner" who refuses to repent, but someone who is genuinely spiritually and emotionally torn. Even if they do feel compelled to excommunicate you, I would be surprised if they do not feel very torn about it themselves. In fact, I hope that they <I>do</I> feel torn, not because I think they're just a "bunch of meanies," but because it would show that they appreciate the extremely complex and heart-wrenching situation that you find yourself in.<BR/><BR/>I think that you are in a unique and, dare I say, important position. We have seen homosexuality evolve in the Church over the years. It hasn't been able to keep up with what's happened in the outside world, but progress has been made in some ways. We've been able to go from teaching that being gay is a choice, to accepting that it's not, and even seeing openly-gay members attend the temple. I believe that more progress will yet be made in terms of homosexuals in the Church. I'm not exactly sure what it will entail, but I think that change comes from within. I think that you will play a role in that change, simply by staying humble, doing all that you honestly <I>can</I> do, whatever percentage that may be, and then leaving the rest up to the Lord.<BR/><BR/>We have an interesting discussion going on right now on my blog <A HREF="http://thefaithfuldissident.blogspot.com/2009/01/faith-gene.html" REL="nofollow">here </A> which has morphed into a discussion about how to stay in the Church in order to "be the change you desire."<BR/><BR/>I think that Jonah was right when he said that you will always be Mormon in your heart no matter what. And David Whitmer probably would have said the same about himself, since he never denied his testimony. Surely that will count for something in the Hereafter.The Faithful Dissidenthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12540938297858510325noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23563380.post-66820086556735158352009-02-02T13:21:00.000-08:002009-02-02T13:21:00.000-08:00I second what Scott has said. You haven't approac...I second what Scott has said. You haven't approached this decision lightly, and I believe you're doing what's best for you.Kengo Biddleshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12083962910965544925noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23563380.post-79522090149384443162009-02-02T09:22:00.000-08:002009-02-02T09:22:00.000-08:00A sin is being committed here, but not by you.From...A sin is being committed here, but not by you.<BR/><BR/>From what I can see, you have acted with integrity at each step along the way. You have overcome many obstacles and chosen a path that allows you to fill your life with love and commitment. If that isn't fulfilling the measure of your creation, I don't know what is. The alternative offered you by the church is not a life-giving path; it is a path toward personal destruction.<BR/><BR/>I understand the need for respectful disagreement. The church is free to hold any beliefs it cares to. However, many thoughtful members of the church see excommunication as an aggressive, barbarous remnant of earlier times. This comes up from time to time on the LDS blogs. Whether you choose to validate the process by attending the formal proceeding is up to you. I like your idea of using it as a way to educate, but I see other dangers.<BR/><BR/>I wish you the best of luck and much, much happiness in the future for you and Jonah and your family. (Your mom sounds great.) I admire the moral courage you are showing in the face of unrighteous dominion.MoHoHawaiihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15086670779804942122noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23563380.post-6165863917251746742009-02-02T08:19:00.000-08:002009-02-02T08:19:00.000-08:00I'm glad that you and Jonah have found each other ...I'm glad that you and Jonah have found each other and are happy together, and though my church would disagree with me, I believe that God is glad about it too.<BR/><BR/>Another way of looking at excommunication is to realize that it's entirely an administrative procedure, initiated and executed by men who have been put in positions of authority in the Church, but who are still men and therefore able to make mistakes. They can remove your name from the records of the earthly organization that is called "The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints", but unless they are truly exercising their authority in accordance with God's desires they cannot strip you of the Spirit or of membership in Christ's Church.<BR/><BR/>Only two people have any say in whether you'll qualify for exaltation: you and the Savior. Stay close to God and do your best to do what you feel He wants you to do and you'll be okay.Scotthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15332275934258698026noreply@blogger.com