Love And Be Loved

I am currently in rehearsals for a musical called The Light in the Piazza. The basic story is that of a mother with a slightly retarded daughter who is on vacation in Italy. They meet an Italian boy who falls in love with the daughter without realizing her disability. Although the mother tries to tell the boy and his family the truth, she is unable to and the boy and his family do not recognize that the girl even has a disability. The mother, who is in an unhappy marriage herself, recognizes that the boy and the daughter are truly in love and finally consents to their being married. At the end of the show the character of the mother sings a song called "Fable," which goes like this:

You can look in the forest
For a secret field
For a golden arrow
For a prince to appear
For a fable of love that will last forever

You can look in the rooms
For a wishing well
For a magic apple
For a
For a fable of love that will carry you

To a moon
On a hill
To a hidden stream


Silhouette
Sail away from time forever

To a valley beyond the setting sun
Where waters shine and horses run
Where there's a man who looks for you
But while you look you are chained turning
You're a well of wishes
You're a fallen apple

No!
No!

Love's a fake
Love's a fable

Just a painting
On a ceiling
Just a children's fairy tale
Still you have to look

And look and look and look and look and look and look and look and look

Through the eyes
On a bridge in the pouring rain
Not the eyes but the part you can't explain
For the arms you can fall into forever

For the joy that you thought you'd never know
For here at last away you go
To a man who looks for you

If you find in the world
In the wide, wide world
That someone sees
That someone loves you

Love
Love
Love if you can now, my Clara
Love if you can
And be loved

May it last forever

(speaking)
Clara

(singing)
The light in the piazza

I get to hear this song every time we rehearse, and it brings me to tears every time. The lyrics that particularly move me are:

"...look
Through the eyes
On a bridge in the pouring rain
Not the eyes but the part you can't explain
For the arms you can fall into forever

For the joy that you thought you'd never know
For here at last away you go
To a man who looks for you

If you find in the world
In the wide, wide world
That someone sees
That someone loves you

Love
Love
Love if you can now, my Clara
Love if you can
And be loved"

When I hear these words I think of my relationship with Jonah. I've said it before, and I will say it again: I cannot explain homosexuality nor do I know what causes it. I don't care anymore. It doesn't matter to me. I may not be what some people would consider "normal," but homosexuality is my reality. Before I met Jonah I had given up on love and figured I would never find as deep and meaningful of a relationship as the one I have now. I have found it, and it is good. So good. In this "wide, wide world" I have finally found someone that "sees" me; that someone "loves" me, and that is a blessing indeed. If a person is lucky and blessed enough to find that, then they should "love if [they] can and be loved." That is what I am doing.

I guess because I am an actor and singer, the spirit has often spoken to me through song and through plays and musicals. Some of the greatest trials I've been through were eased through words and lyrics from plays and musicals and songs. This time is no different. I am convinced that God is happy that I am in love. He loves us and wants us to be happy, and I know He knows this relationship has made me very happy. I do not claim to understand the seeming contradiction between the truthfulness of the LDS Church (which I still believe in) and what is viewed as a "sinful relationship," but I know God knows I'm happy, I believe that meeting and falling in love with Jonah was divinely inspired, and I believe anything else will work itself out the way it should. I am convinced of it.

Today I had Thanksgiving at a neighbor's house, and there was a cross stitch on her wall that said, "The greatest joy in life is to love and be loved." It just reaffirmed what I've been feeling. I love someone who loves me, and we are both far happier as a result. This is good. Good fruit doesn't come from a bad tree, and I am eating some very good fruit.