Not wearing garments has taken a bit of getting used to. I always feel like I'm not fully dressed. I feel naked without them. It's odd.
It's ironic. Before I got my temple endowment in 1991 and started wearing garments, I always slept in just a pair a briefs. I liked it. At the time, I thought wearing garments would be impossible to get used to. Frankly, I like wearing as little of clothing as possible. I get hot pretty easily, and I also find that the less I'm wearing, the more free and more comfortable I feel. If it were socially acceptable, I'd be probably go around naked (or at least in my underwear) if I could.
When I started wearing garments, it did take some getting used to. Now, after 18 years, it's become a habit, and now I'm finding it's hard getting used to not wearing them. On the other hand, now that I'm sleeping in just my briefs again, I am reminded how much I enjoyed it before (although I certainly don't have the same physique I had then). I do enjoy the freedom of being almost nude. I suppose I could sleep in the nude if I so desired, but as I've told Jonah, I don't enjoy sleeping in the nude; too much stuff hanging out and getting in the way. I need some support. ;-)
I bet this post is more information than any of you wanted to know.
Since I've been excommunicated, I have tried to find the humor in it or the bright side in it. Sleeping in just my briefs is one of those things. Being able to wear designer underwear is another. And poking light fun at it is still another.
Example: the other day Jonah and I were at a store together, and a nice man waited on us. After we bought our stuff, I commented to Jonah that I was really struck by that man's spirit; that he just seemed like a really nice man. I said, "Sometimes you can just tell that somebody is good by the spirit they convey," and Jonah jokingly said something to the effect of, "He's probably one of those Mormons," and I said something like, "I can't tell. They took my decoder ring away when I got excommunicated. And all those toaster ovens I earned converting people."
Sometimes you just have to laugh about it.
I won't lie. It's odd not being a member on record. It seems unreal. But, overall, my life remains the same. I'm still living the same life and have the same spirit I did before I was excommunicated.
I was mowing the lawn yesterday, and that was a good time to just think. And as I thought about it, I just said to myself, "I couldn't have done any better than I was doing, and I'm not willing to go back to the way my life was before I found Jonah and came out. God knows my full heart even if nobody else necessarily does."
I have no regrets.