Well, it was only a matter of time. Someone I know has discovered my blog. Interestingly enough, it is my neighbor who attended my disciplinary council. This comes as no surprise to me since she reads some of the blogs that are in the same circles as blogs I read.
She had asked my mom if I had a blog and that she thought she had stumbled across a blog that most likely belonged to me. Mom asked me, and I said I did and said she was welcome to read it if she wanted and sent her the web address.
I'm not embarrassed or ashamed by anything I have written here over the last three or so years, but at the same time I wonder if I will censor or edit myself knowing that people I know are reading (although most of the stuff here is stuff I've been pretty open about with those in my life).
What does concern me more is how Jonah feels. I think he feels uncomfortable with the fact that some of our personal stuff is here for the world to read and even more so that it may be read by people who are not strangers. He told me he doesn't mind my having a blog, but that it makes him feel weird to know that people who know me might be reading about our personal life and that the whole idea in the beginning was for it to be anonymous. He has a valid point and one that I need to consider.
When I think about it, my original reasons for having a blog (to sort out my feelings and conflicts with my sexuality and my religious beliefs) have pretty much been taken care of. Now it's just become a place to think out loud, but I no longer need it like I did then, and there is, admittedly, a lot of personal stuff contained in it. Everything I have written in this blog (and then some) is in my journal that I keep. I also hoped this blog could be a place where others could learn what it's like to be in a gay Mormon's shoes and take what they could from my own personal experiences, and I feel it's done that, too. Maybe the time has come to shut it down. I've actually considered creating a new blog under my actual name that would contain humorous musings on life rather than all this serious, personal stuff. Maybe this is my excuse to do so.
In any case, I'm thinking it over. I'll let you know.