Thursday, December 10, 2009

New Adoption

The other day when I was visiting Jonah in Vegas, he said he had a surprise for me but that I might not like it. Later that night he came home and told me to come outside. He was in his truck and sheepishly looked at me, pulled out two kittens, and said, "I couldn't let them go to the pound."

Admittedly, the kittens were very cute. And I am an animal lover. I love animals very much, and they seem to have quite an affinity for me as well. However, we already have two cats, and they are responsibility enough, in my opinion. So I wasn't terribly pleased, especially since Jonah hadn't at least discussed it with me (although, in retrospect, he had tossed some hints about.

The kittens had come from a litter from Jonah's mom's cat. He has tried to get his mom to get that cat fixed, but she hasn't. I think it's irresponsible to not spay and neuter one's cats. It just leaves a lot of orphaned cats that can't be taken care of.

Jonah looked so concerned about the future of these two kitties. However, four cats is just too much for me. One of the kittens was almost all black with some white and a little Charlie Chaplin-esque or Adolph Hitler-esque mustache. He was very cute. The other cat was gray or brownish, as I recall. Also cute. Although I did not necessarily want another cat, the black one was quite unique, and there is also the fact that the two cats Jonah has were his originally, before we married (although one of those cats adores me; the other one pretty much views anybody but Jonah as an unwelcome intruder). Anyway, I told Jonah I was not comfortable adopting two new kitties, but that I would compromise by allowing us to keep one, provided that I could name it.

I jokingly said we should name it "Hitler," not by any desire to offend, but simply because my dark sense of humor likes the juxtaposition of a cute, harmless kitty-cat with the name of one of the most evil dictators in human history. However, my sense of decency wouldn't allow me to actually do so, even if Jonah would go along with it (which I know he wouldn't), so I named him Chaplin instead.

We think he's a boy, and as far as we can tell, he has the parts that would indicate that he is (although they're very small, so we are not sure). If he turns out to be a girl, we will still call him Chaplin, and he'll just have to suffer through life with an identity crisis.

I admit it, he's adorable. He's a little ball of energy and very hyper and likes to jump around. I am amused at his innocence and curiosity. He loves to bite (not in a malicious way, but in a very pure manner. While I did not necessarily want him initially, it's fun to have him around.

The other two cats have been wary of him, but both are slowly becoming acclimated to him, and I'm sure they will enjoy him in time.

Anyway, here's Chaplin! (He would not hold still very well to get a really focused picture; my apologies).


A.J. said...

the easy way to tell gender in kittens is look under the tail if there is a dot and a dash it is a girl if there is a dot with another dot under it you have a boy.

The Faithful Dissident said...

You and Jonah are such sweethearts for giving Chaplin a home. I love you guys for that. :)

Any luck getting a home for the other kitten?

Kestrel said...

Stinkin' kittens. I hate them.

Because they are too cute, and then I want all the kittens in the world, and I can't take care of more than two (tried 3, didn't go so well), and it makes me sad.

Anyway, I'm not even sure how I got to your blog, but I have read through most of this year and would like to thank you for writing. I am LDS, and I admit to being a little... I don't know...dismissive? when it comes to homosexual rights and the church and stuff (really, I'm not trying to be rude here but I'm not the greatest at explaining my weird inner brain-things.) Part of my feelings come from the fact that as a child/teenager/pretty much up till about 2006, I struggled with my own same-sex attraction. There was a time when I was seriously getting ready to make a move on this girl I really liked, but I didn't. I found my now-husband, and we got married and the rest is history, or will be someday.

Anyway, I felt like if I could overcome those feelings/attractions, anyone can. I haven't been very compassionate, but your blog has really given me something to think about and I really appreciate it. You sound like an awesome guy, and I'm glad that you have found happiness with Jonah, and I'm also glad that you haven't become a Mormon-hater as so many people seem to, you know?

Thanks too for writing your experience with the disciplinary council. I went through one and it was so hard at the time, I guess I have mostly tried to forget about the whole thing. I admire the way you faced it, and face the decision they made, so stoically and peacefully. I know when I was put on probation I railed against it for the longest time, and still do sometimes, even though that part of my life is over now. Actually, interestingly enough, one of the things I was told to do as part of the repentance process was to seek out books on womanhood and study them. That totally, totally changed my world. I think that has a great deal to do with my being able to dismiss my same-sex attraction. There's a lot to that, and it's all very psychologically awesome, but I won't bore you with the details :)

Anyway, thanks again for sharing your story. I will remember you when I am feeling less than compassionate in the future. And dang, I wish I could come see you in a play! I love the theatre. unfortunately, my two year old does not feel the same. Dangit.

Kestrel said...

Just realized that I probably should have read through my last comment to make sure I made sense and didn't sound mean. I really didn't mean to come off as rude or mean or anything, so I hope you didn't get that vibe from me. If anything, you've totally inspired me to be more faithful and active in the church and with reading scriptures and praying and stuff, which I've really struggled with. especially with 9 a.m. church. Thank goodness we have the 11 time now! :D

Gay LDS Actor said...

Don't worry, Kestrel, I did not take any offense by anything you wrote.

I'm glad to hear that you found happiness with your husband in spite of earlier struggles with same-sex attraction. I guess everyone is different, and what works for some may not work for others. I admire those who are able to make a heterosexual union work. In my case, I just didn't feel that was going to work for me, and I am extremely happy with the decisions I have made. Jonah and I are very happy together, and I have no regrets.

While there was once a time in my life when I wanted to overcome my homosexual attractions, I have discovered that life is just easier and happier for me if I accept them. Rather than fighting what felt impossible, I now feel very well-adjusted and joyful, and that is more important to me than anything.

I appreciate your kind words and am grateful that you have found my blog inspirational.

I promised myself a long time ago I wouldn't become a "Mormon-hater." I really do have too much love for the LDS Church and many of its people to do so. And I am, after all, a Mormon at heart and always will be. Fighting and railing and being bitter is a waste of energy, in my opinion, and while there are issues within the Church that I find less-than-perfect, it serves me no purpose to get angry or bitter about any of it. While I know some of my gay friends would disagree, I truly do believe that most people in the LDS Church are motivated by love and a love of Christ. Sometimes the expression of that love can be misdirected, but I do feel the intentions and motivations behind it are pure and well-meaning.

I'm glad to hear that your study of womanhood has been useful and beneficial. That's terrific.

May God continue to support you on your life's journey. Take care.