Tuesday, February 08, 2011

Come Out, Come Out Wherever You Are

Lately I've been considering revealing my true identity on this blog. For five years you've all known me as Cody, but as I've said in the past, that is not my real name. When I started this blog back in 2006, my reasons for remaining anonymous were because I was still sorting out my feelings about my sexuality and the church, and I didn't want anyone to know who I was.

These days, I'm pretty much out to everyone who knows me personally, and I don't really have anything to hide. So why do I still remain anonymous here?

I'm certainly not ashamed or scared of revealing any aspect of my life anymore. I'm pretty forthright about how I feel about most things in my life.

I guess I continue to stay anonymous because the personal things I talk about here don't just affect me, but they also affect others in my life. If someone who personally knows me or one of my family members or friends and they happen to read this blog, and I say something personal about, say, my mom or my sister or a friend, then suddenly people who know them know things about them that maybe my mom or sister or friend doesn't want them to know. If it's all anonymous, then nobody is personally invested.

I think if I also reveal my real name, then suddenly all sorts of people who know me in my real life may come across this blog, and while I don't necessarily care who reads my blog, I think if I know a bunch of people who know me personally are reading it, then I will censor myself and my thoughts out of deference to my loved ones' privacy. It's not my own privacy I am concerned about, but the privacy of those in my inner circle.

Still, I'm mulling it over. I may reveal myself yet. We shall see.


Kiley said...

Let me add an additional thought to what you listed. My blog is my real name and I posted my blog address on facebook... I have lots of people that know me personally who read my blog. That causes me to filter myself. It causes me to feel less free sometimes to say things that I am thinking about and feeling. Sometimes I wish my blog were anonymous for that reason.

Miguel said...

I'm experiencing the same thing as Kiley. When I was Public Loneliness I could write more openly about my struggles and stresses but having become somewhat public on my blog that is also linked from Facebook does create somewhat of a censorship situation. Still in my opinion the move was a good one for me, (and honestly, the worst is over--coming out, divorce, etc)I normally wouldn't be airing my dirty laundry in public that much anyway so the old blog served its purpose and I didn't only want to write about challenges, I wanted to write about a lot of other stuff.

Either way sounds like you're in a good place in your life and you're still the one calling the shots so that in itself is a good thing and who knows, being in SLC when you're working could afford you to be more social with the Mohos if you're not already doing that! :-)

Sara said...

I'm de-anonymous in that I have pictures on the site, and my real first name, but not last name, so people don't usually find me by search engines. It's sort of an in-between step.

Beck said...

My blog remains "anonymous" for the reason that it is for me to explore what I would never verbally articulate to those who really know me. If I were to come out on my blog, I would feel there would be no more purpose to the blog. And maybe that's the point. As long as there is a purpose for me to speak and give voice to an otherwise silent part of me, there will remain a point to blogging.

I don't know whether you are beyond that point or not. Maybe. Either way, I'm glad to continue to follow you these last five years!