Home With Jonah

I closed my show almost a week ago and headed back home to be with Jonah. It's been great. It's sad; it's been three years since Jonah and I had our commitment ceremony, and we've spent more time apart than together because of our jobs. I'm unemployed again until April, and this stretch (three months) will be the longest consecutive amount of time that Jonah and I will be together. Never have I been more delighted to be unemployed. I have missed my boy so, so much, and it is so great that we will have this time together.

I actually drove home on Christmas Day (I spent Christmas Eve with my family in Utah), and it was a beautiful day. I left early because Jonah had to work on Christmas night (bogus!), and I wanted to at least spend some of Christmas Day with him. I was also really excited to give him my gifts to him. I gave him sheet music for a song he wanted that a friend of mine transcribed (because the song is not available in print); a doll he asked for (Jonah collects dolls, and I think he was really surprised that I had remembered that he wanted this one; and the biggest surprise gift: a hanging trio of Mickey Mouse frames with pictures from our trip to Disneyland (two of which were taken by a photographer at Disneyland, and which Jonah had no idea I had purchased). He seemed very surprised and pleased. It took me forever to find just the right frames for the photos, and there is such joy in our faces in the photos. It was such a perfect gift.

Jonah, who has a bigger budget than I do, got me a book by Stephen Sondheim that I had begged Jonah to get me, a Darth Vader t-shirt, and the biggest surprise of all, an iPod Touch, which I had wanted but couldn't afford. It was a nice Christmas.

One of my favorite parts of being away from Jonah for so long is the "reunited" sex. It's always the best, and almost makes being away from each other worth it. Almost. There are few things better than being reunited with the one you love after along absence.

Jonah and I will be together for our third anniversary. Not sure what we're doing, but I'm glad we're together.

Being here has been good in other ways, too. My mom's dementia is getting worse (although she does not seem to recognize it), and I seem to be the child she increasingly depends upon and it can be stressful at times. I love my mom so much and worry a lot about her. Maybe too much (although I told her that I worry about her as sufficiently as a son ought to worry about his mother). Anyway, my siblings are taking on more responsibility. They've always been great, but Mom tends to rely on me more because I'm more easily accessible. I don't mind that, and perhaps it's my own doing that causes her to do that. But it can be stressful at times, and it's nice to have a bit of a break (although I miss her terribly, and I know she misses me). Perhaps I'll post about this at a later time.

Jonah did the nicest thing. He was shopping at Michael's Crafts, and a customer was being kind of impatient and verbally abusive to an aged cashier. The cashier was obviously flustered by the interaction, and Jonah took the time to tell her that he had always thought the cashier had done a good job when he had shopped there and to not let the customer's behavior get to her. The cashier said she tried to do a good job and said that at her age she should be retired by now, but that she needed this job to support herself and her family. Anyway, Jonah got to know her a bit better, and Jonah was so kind to her (as Jonah is apt to be), and she ended up asking Jonah if she could hug him, which he was perfectly glad to do.

Anyway, at this time in the holiday season when retailers have such a challenging job, Jonah felt inspired to bring the staff at Michael's some muffin/bundt cakes, but also felt very compelled to give the aged cashier a $50 gift card to Fresh and Easy (a local grocery store) and $25 cash and asked me if he could take some money out of our savings to do it. Jonah's gut feelings are usually 99% accurate, and so I have learned to trust them. I told him he should do it, and so he did and gave the muffins and gift card and cash on our behalf.

The staff was so grateful, and the woman even more so. We saw her just yesterday, and she said it had really made a difference, not just to her but to her family. She hugged both of us and told us we were good people.

I tell you this not to be recognized for doing a good deed (and really, it was Jonah's good deed more than mine), but because I admire Jonah so much because he really is such a generous soul and is so receptive to the needs of others (even when he doesn't want to be). I admire that a lot. I can be very selfish myself, and Jonah makes me want to be a more giving and better person.

Just as this customer was tearing the cashier down with her words, I feel Jonah was trying to lift her up with his words and actions. And isn't that what we should be doing with everyone we interact with in our lives? I'm not saying we need to give everybody a gift card and some cash. I'm just saying that we can either build people up with our words or actions or we can tear them down. A smile or kind word can do good whereas a sarcastic or hurtful comment can do bad. And we never know the effect our words and deeds will have on someone or on the people whose lives they touch.

I just want to be a better person. I want to be more kind, more loving, more charitable, more centered on others' needs, and Jonah inspires me to do that. Jonah has taught me so much about love and sensitivity, and I really appreciate that.

I'm so glad we're together.