Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Nothing Wrong With US

I read this article today and was reminded of something Jonah said in reaction to an active LDS woman's assertion that Josh Weed is a "blessing and an example to all the Mormons who are gay and lost."  (I told you Jonah is obsessed with Josh Weed.)

Jonah told her  (and again, I'm paraphrasing some of this), "Well, I just want to say that as a gay Christian man, I don't feel like I am lost.  Josh states that he is gay, so why don't you consider him lost?  I guess it's because he made the choice to marry a woman. We all have our own journeys in life and believe it or not, God made us out of the same perfect mold that you came from. I don't see myself or any of my gay brothers and sister as the broken clay molds that God put aside to fix later. I feel that our Heavenly Father made no mistakes.   I am made whole because I am assured by God's word that I was created in his image just as you are . The only challenge we really face in life is not our homosexual orientation, but it is this idea that we as gay people have something wrong with us that we need to fix or overcome.

"Yes it's true we all have trials and tribulations in our lives, but being gay should not be looked at as one.

"If you think that this is a moral choice or just a choice all together let's go back and read what Josh Weed has said in his blog: 

"'I want to make it very clear that while I have found a path that brings me profound joy and that is the right path for me, I don’t endorse this as the only path for somebody who is gay and religious. I will never, ever judge somebody else’s path as being “incorrect” and I know many people who have chosen different paths than myself. '

"My partner and I are just as special as Josh and Lolly.  We dated each other for a few years and after that we were engaged on my birthday in Cedar City, Utah.  The whole time during our courtship we remained virgins.  Yes, virgins - as in never having sex of any kind until after our commitment ceremony in 2008.

"Can you believe it?  Both my partner and I had never had sex with a man or women before then.  That same year my partner was excommunicated by The Church Of Jesus Christ Of Latter-day Saints.

"Today I am proud to say that he is still attending church and knows that it is possible for us have a happy Christian home just like Josh and his family.  We both look forward to our eternal life together someday.

"It's true we are also a rare kind, but I am here to tell you that there is really nothing here to fix except for the idea that we as gay people can't have the same eternal home or connection to God as the rest of my brothers and sisters.

"So pray for us like any other person out there. Let your prayers not be to fix us, but that God guide us all to a better understanding, that we are all created equal and that one day we all may have the same right's across the board."

You tell her, Jonah.

There's such a consistent attitude that there is something wrong with being gay.  Just recently there was a big hoopla in the Davis County school system about a library book called In Our Mother's House being sent to the restricted section because some mother was offended because the book's subject matter dealt with a lesbian couple and their child.  Never mind that the book was put in the library precisely because the school has a student whose parents are a same-sex couple, and the library wanted to foster an attitude of inclusiveness that would concentrate on all families in the district and not some.  Never mind that the mother could have used the book as a teaching moment for her kid to say, "Well, some families are different than ours" instead of making a stink about it, which only serves to to instill in the child a feeling that there is something wrong with same-sex couples.  The child who checked out the book probably wasn't bothered by the family in the story until Mom made her feel like there was something wrong.

Or there's the story of Mia Love, who's running for congress here in Utah, who declined to participate in an interview with QSalt Lake (Utah's gay newspaper) not because she dislikes gay people but because she was worried about how her opponent might make it look like she associated with gay people, which might not appeal to her constituents.  Never mind that her opponent, Jim Matheson, spoke to QSalt Lake himself.

I just get so tired of this attitude that gay people individuals and couples are broken or wicked or evil or second-class or are taboo or unworthy or "struggling" or "enduring a trial" or not whole.  I assure you, we're fine just the way we are, and many of us are quite happy (and those that aren't are often that way because their religions and families make them feel that way - i.e. it's not the condition of being gay that is the problem, but how people are made to feel about it by their religions, families, friends, societies, and cultures.

Get over it, people!  This rolling stone can't be stopped, and when it finally gets to the bottom of the hill, you're going to feel ashamed that you were on the wrong side of history.


Adrian said...

The reality is that God didn't make anybody from a perfect mold.

Linzy W said...

I was born into the Morman church, but became inactive about 15 years ago. I haven't read the Book of Morman since I dropped out. I never got excommunicated because I never told my bishop that I had same sex relationships. Just out of curiosity does it say in the Book of Morman anything against homosexuality? I don't remember it having said so. Only the King James Version of the bible.

Gay LDS Actor said...

There is nothing in The Book of Mormon specifically about homosexuality. There are things about chastity, but nothing specifically about same-sex relationships. Even the Bible, I feel, is quite sparse on the subject.

Linzy W said...

I agree. Plus, the fact that the bible has been translated so many times leads me to feel that man has had too much input. I just fell away from the church at so young an age I really don't remember a lot. I tried speaking with my dad about excommunication and why the church can't be understanding instead of trying to force repression. He cut me off that it was against God's law. I just have a hard time thinking that any father especially an Eternal Father would forgo his child.

Gay LDS Actor said...

I, too, have a hard time believing an all-knowing, all-loving Father would ever abandon His child for anything, and I don't believe He does or will.

Julia - Finding My Way Softly said...

I have always thought that the lack of mention in the Book of Mormon is important in its omission. If the testimony of the gospel is set by two or three witness, and the only scriptures to mention something are those that are only correct a portion of the time, well I think it is a stretch.

I think just like discussions about Heavenly Mother and female priestesses and Godesses, homosexuality has more cultural basis than scriptural basis. We live in such a heavily patriarchal society, that many simply can't see a difference between a cultural norm and truth.

I haven't read your entire blog, but I am curious about why Jonah is obsessed with Josh. Is it just because you are LDS or is there a deeper connection I missed?

Gay LDS Actor said...

Yeah, I think Jonah is primarily obsessed with Josh Weed because of my being LDS, but also because Jonah sees the damage that is caused when gay people try to live according to religious beliefs they were brought up with (LDS or not) at the expense of their own personal fulfillment, happiness, and emotional well-being, and that is of great concern to him (particularly with young people).

Does that make sense?

Julia - Finding My Way Softly said...

It does make sense. I am glad that you, and him through you, can share those thoughts. I know you are going to be going to spend time with him soon, although I am not sure where that is at.

Even if blogging is not his thing, he might be interested in Lady Gaga's foundation, you can learn about it at, if you haven't already found it. I know that Utah is considered one of the priorities for Born This Way and for It Gets Better. The statistics for Utah really are scary. I am LDS, but except for four months, I have always lived outside Utah. (Mostly Oregon, but Wisconsin, DC, California and New Jersey for a year or less.)

I volunteer with survivors of rape and sexual assault, as part of turning my own abuse into something good. There are a lot of men (gay, straight, bisexual, transgender) that I come in contact with, and one of the hardest things is how little male sexual assault of men is acknowledged. Before leading mixed groups (men and women, single gender groups always have a mix of orientations) I hadn't realized how common sexual assault was for gay men who were in the closet or have recently come out. I really admire those men who go on to create long-term, healthy relationships. A long-time friend, and fellow survivor, married his boyfriend two days after my spinal surgery. I considered it one of the biggest honors of my life when I was the first one they came to visit after their honeymoon, and I cried as we watched their wedding video together.

I hope that you and Jonah are together soon!

Gay LDS Actor said...

Julia, Jonah and I will be together in about 5 and a half weeks, and we'll be together at least two months, probably more, so I am looking very forward to that. Unfortunately, we'll both be unemployed, which I am not looking forward to. But I'm glad I'll get to be with my guy.

Thanks for the link.

I agree that sexual assault between men is under-reported and sometimes not acknowledged at all, but it is a serious problem especially among those who are just coming out and are often preyed upon. I'm grateful Jonah and I never had to deal with any of that it our own lives.

Thanks for sharing your comments.