Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Coming Out

This is where I told somebody for the first time, out loud, that I was gay:

I don't remember where we were seated precisely, although if memory serves, it was the middle of the back row. What I do remember was that it felt like my darkest, most horrible secret had finally come to light, and I felt the heaviness of the world lifted off of me. I wept and wept and wept because I was glad that somebody finally knew what I had been keeping locked away for so many years.

I was fortunate that the person I told was completely loving and accepting and nonjudgmental (and, it turned out, was gay herself). I know God helped me find her friendship at this very critical juncture in my life partially because she really helped me through a lot in dealing with my sexuality.

At the time I told her, being gay seemed like such a terrible, awful thing to be. I felt like the most perverse, misunderstood, lonely human being on the face of the earth. After telling her, I began to realize I wasn't (although I still had a lot of uphill climbing to do in dealing with my sexuality).

Today I am so happy to be who I am and grateful for where I am in my life. I am a beautiful, wonderful person who has been blessed so abundantly.

It really does get better.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!


Corey said...

I completely agree with you. It really does get better. I came across someone the other openly gay guy, and the topic of it gets better came up. You know what he told me? He sincerely believe that it doesn't get better. And he chastised me for spreading false hope (indirectly, but still so.) And i was shocked...I suppose that I can't fully understand how he feels without being him and living in his shoes, but that interaction just....confused me, i think is the best way to describe it. i don't understand why or how someone can be that ....pessimistic, I guess? I dunno....your post just made me think of that, and I figured I would share. I'm sincerely confused by his statement...and I've been thinking about it lots lately. Anyway...haha

Gay LDS Actor said...

I guess each person's experience is his or her own, but I've seen more "gets better" stories than I have the opposite. I think the guy you talked to is more the exception than the rule, but I can only speak from my own experience and the experiences of those I associate with.

As I imagine you feel, I certainly don't think we're spreading false hope. It's the truth, as far as I am concerned. I'm sorry his experience has not been as positive as ours have been. I would be curious to know what has occurred in his life to make him feel that way because it kind of confuses me as well.

Anyway, thanks for sharing.