Tuesday, May 02, 2006

My Dream Last Night

It isn't that interesting, I suppose, but I thought I'd share it nonetheless:

I dreamt that Jonah and I were trying to rescue my ex-fiancée, who was being held in a commune of some sort (sort of akin to the pologymous communes one finds in southern Utah). It was up in the mountains, though, and the only way to sneak in was to go through these tunnels. We were under the command on Mike Novick, a character on the TV show "24," which I was watching prior to going to bed last night. He was helping us navigate the tunnels, in order to help us get out and in without getting lost.

Anyway, Jonah and I managed to get through the tunnels and we tried to drive a jeep up a very steep mountain, but were unsuccessful. Eventually we made it inside one of the buildings in the commune, where we told an LDS bishop we were there to talk to my ex-fiancée, who I will call Lisa. The bishop didn't seem to want to tell us where Lisa was.

I looked out the window of the bishop's office, where I could see several dwellings where people lived. You could look through their windows and see inside. The furniture was very luxurious and expensive, and one could see that the living quarters were on some sort of turn table, so that the occupants could rearrange which rooms were on which side of the house.

Eventually we got the bishop to tell us that Lisa was sky-diving outside. Jonah and I went outside, and sure enough, several people were skydiving. Lisa was the third person to land, and upon seeing me, she acknowledged me, but didn't speak to me. Her body language indicated that she was happy living in this commune and was in no need of rescuing. She walked away. I still felt she shouldn't be there, but respected her choice to stay.

Jonah and I then got back in the tunnels to leave. At first, the tunnels were very narrow and sloped downward, much like a water slide, and I was enjoying sliding down them, but soon they became level, and until Mike Novick gave us instructions on how to get out, we were stuck there, and I began to get claustrophobic and panic. Jonah was a few yards behind me and told me to back up to him. I snuggled against his warm body and he proceeded to try and calm me down. I told him I had a premonition that something dreadful was going to happen to us, and he reminded me that all the premonitions I had ever had prior to this event had never come true and that it was clear I was not a very good predictor of the future. That made me feel better.

Soon I called Mike, and although he was very busy, he took the time to guide us out of the tunnels. I made him stay on the line until I was sure we were out and safe. I started crying because I was so happy to be out and free.

I don't know if it means anything, but I liked the dream because of how safe I felt with Jonah. I also thought it was extremely odd that my ex, who I haven't thought much of in a long time, was in the dream as well. Anyway, it was interesting (to me, at least).


Foxx said...

I'm no official expert, but I love my dreams and what they tell me. Here are a few symbols.

Mountain - this seems to be some kind of obstacle in your life.

Tunnels - exploring tunnels seems to be your way of exploring your subconscious. It is interesting to note that you use this method to get at your mountain (problem).

Mike Novick - some authority. This could be an inner authority (god) or an external one.

Jeep - cars represent the way you go down your path in life. A jeep is designed for rough terrain, so maybe you feel like your path is rocky.

Window - it is particularly interesting that you are looking out of a window and into other windows at the same time. From the dictionary: Dreaming that you are looking out the window means your outlook on life, your consciousness, point of view, awareness, and intuition. You may be reflecting on a decision and seeking guidance. If you are looking in the window, then it indicates that you are doing some soul searching and looking within yourself.

Bishop - this may indicate that this dream is dealing with something religious.

Lisa - this most likely does not represent the actual person, but something they represent to you. Some connection, some idea that you're letting go, even though you don't understand.

Jonah - likewise, this may not represent him, but I'm willing to guess it does. Whatever you have with Jonah - whatever your subconscious connects with his image - comforts you when you get stuck in your way through the tunnels of your mind.

I also find it interesting that you used the following two phrases: "out and safe" and "out and free." Those may be clues as to what is most important to you.

Just a little fast food for thought.

Dave Walter said...

I don't know squat about dream interpretation, but if I had to go out on a limb, I'd say your dream is your subconscious' way of helping you let go of what, for you, was a confining, inappropriate, heterosexual-oriented mindset.

Gay LDS Actor said...

Thanks for you comments. Sorry I haven't responded sooner. School is coming to a close for the year, and I've been very busy.

Dave Walter, I wouldn't call my heterosexual-oriented mindset "inappropriate." I don't believe sexuality is all black and white (at least, I don't feel it is for me). I happen to be in love with another guy right now, but I've had two good relationships with women, and I could just as well be in love with a woman right now. As it stands, I'm in love with Jonah. But I don't feel the fact that I'm open to heterosexual relationships is inappropriate. Or perhaps I'm misunderstanding your point.

Dave Walter said...

I guess I had gotten the impression that your relationships with women were the result of your doing what you were expected to do, and that your latest experiences with Jonah reflected a deeper acceptance of your gay self.