Tuesday, July 06, 2010
Hope You're Okay With That
There is a kid that sits in front of my mom and me in Sacrament Meeting. His parents are good friends of ours, and I have known the husband my whole life. This son of theirs is about ten years old, and I have known him his entire life. When I was a Primary teacher, I taught his older brother, and he (the kid I'm talking about) was in the Sunbeams. As I've watched this kid grow up, I become more and more convinced that he is gay. He may not know that yet, and it may not even be so, but this kid sets off my gaydar big time. I can't even pinpoint what it is. I mean, he's a bit effeminate and certainly has his own individual sense of style and fashion, but that doesn't necessarily mean he is gay. But I think he is, and I'm interested to see what he's like another ten years from now. I think what I like most about him is he refuses to "fit in a box." He is definitely his own person and seems to have no shame or qualms about expressing himself through his appearance.
Anyway, if it does turn out that he's gay, I hope his parents will be okay with it. They do lean more on the liberal side, so I suspect that even if they are not initially cool with it, they will come around eventually. I'm pretty sure the husband, at least, knows I'm gay, and his attitude toward me hasn't changed one iota. And his father is my former bishop, a man who I have referred to many times in this blog as being one of the most Christ-like men I know.
And who knows? Maybe the kid isn't gay at all. Maybe I'm just projecting something on him that doesn't even exist. It doesn't really matter. It's just interesting to me to speculate about.
This brings me to another kid I know, this one considerably older. I've also known him his whole life, although I am not as close with his family as I am to the aforementioned family. This kid is about 21 or 22 and returned from a mission recently and is engaged to be married in about a month. I also have always suspected this kid is gay as well. Unlike the previous family, this kid's family is ultra-conservative, and I have a very hard time imagining that they would ever be okay with his being gay. And again, I may be wrong (although I will say that my gaydar is pretty accurate), but I do get the feeling he's done all the things he does because it's the "right thing to do" or because he's expected to do them. And although he may love his fiancée, I feel a sense of sadness in him and wonder if he will regret his choice later on in life (or if she will regret it). Maybe they won't. I know some mixed-orientation couples who seem to be making things work for themselves. I just know I wouldn't have been happy myself were I in his same situation. I feel like who he really is inside is being covered by this "brave-faced" facade.
Again, it's all speculation. I could be completely wrong about both these kids. I guess only time will tell.