Thursday, February 23, 2012

Dementia Frustrations

As I've mentioned, my mom has dementia (or at least that's what we think it is). Neither Mom nor I were happy with her current doctor for reasons I won't go into here, and I wanted to get a second opinion and find someone who specialized in geriatric medicine, and Mom was interested in finding another doctor, so I got an appointment with a new doctor. I made the appointment about two months ago. Yesterday was the soonest he could see my mom, but he has a good reputation, so it seemed worth it.

Two days ago when my sister-in-law and brother reminded Mom of the appointment (which we have told her about several times), she had no recollection of it and couldn't understand why she would need to see a new doctor as she was "perfectly happy" with her current one. That isn't true. Mom has been unhappy with her current doctor for a while, but of course now she didn't remember that.

Anyway, she got mad at my sister-in-law and brother and said she didn't need to see a doctor anyway as she was healthy and didn't have any problems. My sister-in-law had me call Mom and convince her going to this new doctor was for the best. My sister-in-law calls me the "favorite child" because I seem to be able to get Mom to do things my siblings can't. I don't know that that's true, but I do have a good relationship with Mom and am able to coax her to do things.

I talked to Mom and explained why we had made the appointment. She wasn't wild about going, but I was able to convince her to go.

So my sister-in-law and brother took her yesterday only to find out that the doctor's office had called Mom a few days before to confirm the appointment and she had canceled it, telling them she was happy with her current doctor.

The doctor was booked, and the soonest they can see her is March 6. My brother and sister-in-law tried to reason with them, saying we had booked this a couple of months ago and that my brother has taken work off special for this appointment, but to no avail. After all, Mom had canceled the appointment, and the doctor had no free spots. But the receptionist did say the doctor was top-notch and would be worth the wait. My brother made sure he gave her his number so they would call him instead of my mom to confirm.

It's so frustrating that we have to wait another two weeks for an appointment we've already waited months for. Getting Mom to go is like pulling teeth anyway. I think the most frustrating thing about Mom's dementia is that she doesn't recognize there is anything wrong with her and therefore is resistant to anything we try to do to help her.

Mom has really good days and some not so good days, and these last couple of days I feel she has not been doing so well. I just would like to get her in to a specialist. Well, let's hope March 6th works out.


Connie Babe said...

On behalf of a woman who misses her mother terribly, thank you for loving your momma...good luck with the new doctor.

Gay LDS Actor said...

Thanks, Connie. I appreciate that.