I was watching "Desperate Housewives" yesterday evening. I enjoy the show quite a bit. It's a fun mix of comedy and drama and some of its comedy is dark, which I like.
Anyway, last week a major character was killed, and last night's episode dealt with his funeral and how he impacted the lives of those he touched. It was a sad episode, made more so by the fact that I find his widow such a likable character and hoped she would have a happy ending when the series ends this year (only four episodes left), but it doesn't look like that will be the case.
As I watched the episode, there was talk about what heaven is, and in a flashback the dead husband said that heaven was being surrounded by those you love doing the things you love to do. I thought about how much I love Jonah, and I pondered on the fact that a heaven without Jonah by my side wouldn't be much of a heaven at all. It seems unfair if it isn't so.
I also thought about how hard it would be to lose Jonah (and I think it would be equally hard for him to lose me - heck, he gets really sad when I leave the state for work). After the episode I told him how much I loved him and how he isn't allowed to die.
But of course, we all die some time. Unless we're in freak accident together, chances are very high that somebody will be left behind. It's hard to imagine life without Jonah - without his love, his influence, his support. It would be like losing a part of myself.
Sometimes when I hear ignorant people demean same-sex relationships, it upsets me. The love I have for my partner is just as strong and valid as any opposite-sex relationship. Jonah is such a important and necessary part of my life. Sure, he gets on my nerves, as any spouse might, but I have a hard time imagining my life without him.
I'm glad a trivial show like "Desperate Housewives" helped remind me how much I love my husband and how much he really means to me. That's something I need to learn to hold on to.