I'm flying into town for an audition on Thursday and have extended my stay to help out with my mom. My sister-in-law was hoping I could come today. I really didn't see what difference two days would make. I know everything is chaotic and my family is stressed and panicked a bit. (Mom may be moving into the home tomorrow (Wednesday)). Everyone is grappling to get everything ready for her move - doctor's visit, evaluations, packing and moving her furniture, etc., and I know I could be of help.
At the same time, I can't just pick up and leave. I have obligations and duties here with my husband. I told my sister-in-law so. She never responded, so I don't know how she felt about it, but my sister gave me a call and applauded me for standing up for myself and said she understood why I feel the way I feel. She said I've taken care of Mom for so long, and that she and my siblings have got to be able to handle things without me. Her words: "You've done more for Mom in the last four years than all of us put together." Whether that's true or not, I sure appreciate the sentiment and am glad to know that at least somebody has my back. She indicated my other sister probably feels the same way, too.
This isn't to say my brother and sister-in-law don't. I'm sure when my sister-in-law made the request for me to come early, she was just feeling overwhelmed and stressed. But I did feel guilty for choosing not to come early even thought I knew it was the right thing to do. But my sister assuaged my feelings of guilt, and I sincerely appreciate that.
As for Mom, she came home from the hospital today. She apparently was being childish and difficult when my sister was trying to get her to eat. She was also absolutely convinced she was not in her house (yes, the house she has lived in for 50 years) and wouldn't take her gloves and coat off because she had no intention of staying. She took a tour of her own house, and while much of it looked identical to her REAL house, she was adamant that it was not. I'm hoping she will take to her new home at the assisted living facility better, although I have a feeling she will not...at least, not right away.
We're all exhausted, though, and it will be better for both her and us in the long run. Expensive, though. But better.
Can't wait to go back and enter the fray.