We had a guest speaker come to our school today and talk about how to make it in the business as a professional actor. One of the things he said a successful actor has is perseverance. He said that you have to give everything you have, and that if you have tried as hard as you can and you can't go any further and you haven't succeeded as an actor, you'll still know that you did the best you could and gave it your best shot. Otherwise, if you just strive for your goals in a haphazard way and fail, you'll always live with regret wondering if you would have succeeded if you had just tried harder. He said we only have one life, and we don't want to live with regrets.
I then thought about how this applies to my own situation. As far as my homosexual issues are concerned, I really feel like I could face my Father in Heaven and say that I gave it my best shot; that I tried as hard as I could, but that I just wasn't able to live the way my religion has asked me to. I've dedicated years of my life to doing what I've been taught to do, and it hasn't changed my feelings. I don't regret a moment of that. I'm very happy with the influence my religion has had on my life. Yet if I were to let Jonah go, I think I would regret that. I would wonder "what if..." for the rest of my life. I think I am coming to better terms that Jonah and I belong together and that it's okay. Maybe it's just time to start a new chapter in my life.